If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize