just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize