Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
