She is in my trunk
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize