I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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