Just cropdusted the office
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
