in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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