you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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