So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
