How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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