she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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