I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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