question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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