i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
