Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
