i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
