In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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