Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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