May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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