so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
