pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
