I molested 6 butterflies tonight
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
