i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
