Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
