Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
