I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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