My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
