i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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