Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
