I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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