I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
