Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So squirting runs in the family.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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