who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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