All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She's the barista slut.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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