I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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