So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
