I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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