Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
