no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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