I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize