When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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