I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
