i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
