Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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