my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
