I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I came so hard my ears popped.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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