So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize