Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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