i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
