once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
