She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
