You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
