i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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