I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you would pick up someone in the library
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize