were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
