plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
