atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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