sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize