my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
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