need another drink. this is the easiest way
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
