you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
