Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
