How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize