genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
