1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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