Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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