just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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